Sometimes...

     Sometimes, I try very hard to capture my thoughts and pen them down. But my thoughts are like silk, they just slip away.
     Sometimes, I try to make sense of my senses and what I make of them. But my life is so dreamy, senses continue to evade me.
     Sometimes, I try to follow the things I read and be a nice person. But my essence is not so bright . I rebound to the same selfish streak that is inherent in me.
     Sometimes, I try to be honest, very honest with myself. But I end up puzzling myself and those around me.

     Sometimes, I try not to cheat myself . But I end up being an impostor.
     Sometimes, I try to love, claiming I know what it means. But then, somebody comes along and gifts me unselfishness and leaves me wondering what love actually means.
     Sometimes, when I miss her, I doubt my self sufficiency.
     Sometimes, I forget everything and stare in the space blankly.
     Sometimes, I am purely blank, unable to think, intellect, feel, see or hear things.

     Sometimes, I think it best to keep quiet…very quiet…very very quiet .....

Embracing Life ...

          In life's odyssey , Sometimes some of moments which held some one's presence comes so close to us that we shall never want to diffuse it from our memory. Every individual's life is woven with these cozy moments which they always want to preserve , nurse it and makes it vivid perennial .


      My life has also undergone through these kinds of metamorphosis phase . Frankly , I do analyze each bud of my life like a dweeb spectator and always yearn to decipher the hidden meaning . Each floating moments fetches many significant &  peanut happening &  feeling and it cascade with other in same fashion as well . An array of these number of emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy, excitement, hatred, etc woven "life" . These emotions are felt by everybody throughout the world, across different cultures.

      The emotion of love is also something that is experienced by many people and is very common all over the world. People who are in love describe it as an amazingly satisfying feeling that gives them immense happiness. Many of those who are not in love desire to experience that feeling and wait for that one special person with whom they would want to spend their entire life.


     Of-late , My destiny took me for a secret rendezvous with a soul , for whom my existence matters a lot .Her happiness lies seeing me elated , her sadness dwells by seeing my anxiety, she sooth my anger and rapport me in my most crucial moments.To summarize i am the cosmos for her...

 

      The day perhaps, which i shall never diffuse from my memory or somewhere i never wants to....Life has never been so smooth for me....As soon as I reached to her place and board myself off from Bus , I was willingly waiting for her .Of around thousands of crowd , my eyes was searching my soul mate , those pairs of eyes ...Gazing across the open space, I was lost in thoughts when I heard her voice "Prasoon..!!! Turn here stupid ...!!!!" I turned around to meet a elegant & exuberant face with a dazzling smile.Her excitement had no boundary at all and perhaps my words will be dwarf to define them...

     She was looking drop-dead gorgeous as usual,her hairs was super-straight, her clingy clothes were in yummy ice-cream flavor with a golden brownish woolen cap perfectly covered her hairs, beautifully decorated "mendhi" in her one hand ,devoid of any cosmetics yet looking awesome and innocent . Attired in vogue costume - off-white, she was the picture of warmth and radiance.She was lissome ,lithe ,elegant and all that. Her majestic presence kept me spellbound  . That was the very first time I set eyes on "Jamie". "Jamie" certainly wasn’t exquisite ; neither did she possess the panache of city-bred girls of her age. Nonetheless, there was something about her… a rustic sensuality that was missing in the girl in ‘my part of the world’..It's her presence that is so hypnotic, it makes me loose my sense ...i just stop being me.....With so many thoughts running riot, all I could do was smile and utter an inaudible ‘Hi’ to her ...

     We hired a cab for our destination .She was sitting beside me with having a significant gap in between us .For the first time i elated to share something with a blonde girl and in the meanwhile i was praising her beauty whenever i could snatch a moment. All the while , she kept glinting at me, and i reciprocated likewise, They say "Togetherness , that's the elixir for romance" and i found true..!!! All the while i was with her today, i intentionally talked slowly as i wanted to live the moments as much as i could…Inwardly i've never shared anyone many of the things i shared with her . I don't know why but i feel like talking to her till the endless time...

    We inched towards our auberge ..and finally it was the time to give her what i brought for her, for me that was merely a "Teddy wearing her childhood imprinted envision", But for her it was not less then a friend with whom she can talk about me, perhaps the best pal or somewhere an apostle of my being...

    After a while we steered for a delightful dinner, under the bask of dim yellow light , light music & magnificent aroma engrossed everywhere. It was indeed beautiful and no other word could have described it better just like no other word could describe her better.There wasn't many souls around, infect they were insignificant in number. I had been smitten by the ambiance which had become more splendorous in her presence .By the time of placing an order, she gracefully crunched out the least calories yet most hygienic nutrient in the menu. Indeed i adore her selection quality. Before the order can be placed she started wiping the empty & clean plates with the tissue paper nearby, for me. She instructed the server for many things starting from less oily food , fresh water , mild dust on plate or so on and I deliberately stood pause ....In my words , the whole world on one side and her "nakhre" on the other. I guess that the gravity of the other would be more...It feels awesome to hear girls, especially gorgeous one talking sense ,the delicate movements of lips exquisitely curving out each word with utmost perfection... 

     Post supper , we walked a mile over the less dense territory , holding each other hands, towards her destination to 'call it for a day' and believe me,when we were talking ,i thought i knew her from the time i didn't know her...After a while i found that she become an integral part of me & my being..They say :-"once in your life time someone comes along ,when life feels so blessed & reminiscent and that the soul who  absolutely meant to be with you , to behold you tightly and gallop you away from the world's insane crowd to a divine utopia " and i found it true ...Everything feels great n sparkle, stars are aligned ,body & spirit are balanced ... Life feels so complete with her...

   By the time i was moving away from her, i can see tears floating in her eyes and i could do nothing but embrace her...and my heart spells some thing. Sometimes heart pronounced in such a silly little way...Isn't it..? It doesn't always know what it wants, and in the next time it wants ,what it knows that it cannot have ever !!!

    There are so many things I think life would be nothing without, or at least not the same, averly for me her perennial memories are one of them . I believe couple of things in our life can make a huge change. I believe that we decide what kind of information we let into our life and believe that we decide what kind of people we are encircled by. These are my believes which I find that they do change one's life, at least they changed mine and indeed above monologue vouch such ,which has changes my way of seeing life ...



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... to be continued....